He Did It

Here is a compilation of Theo's scenes from his performance in Annie Jr. with Unity Stage Theatre Company this past weekend.



You may recall my nerves when the rehearsal process began. Can he do this? The odds seemed stacked against him. Here was a little boy with autism in a giant space with 27 typical kids who were forming instant friendships and excited about their roles in the play. Theo was eating by himself and not quite getting what he was doing...there was a point when he thought he was playing Annie (because he really wanted to!).

In the beginning, he threw chairs, ripped other kids' homework, hit his castmates. He was so lost and confused that he acted out. If he didn't get a turn in a theatre game, he cried. I asked Sofia, the director, if I could start attending rehearsals with him, and she agreed.

His behavior was so awful at the first rehearsal I saw...I knew in my heart that we had to quit the play. And I cried for three days. But I couldn't bear to call Sofia and tell her. And in case you're wondering, I couldn't bear to blog about it here, either. I talked to Joe about it all week and consulted a couple of message boards, and at the last minute, we decided to give him another shot. Maybe the hour and 45 minute rehearsals were too much for him. What if we just stayed an hour?

So we went back. This time, we had a talk before rehearsal. We went through the list of rules. "Listen, no hitting, wait your turn in games," etc. I acted as a para for him. I did my best to remain in the background, but gave him a gentle push or redirect when he needed it. The next rehearsal, Theo turned a corner. We never did need to leave early. I think that talk we continued to have before rehearsals really helped. Theo does well when prepared for what's about to happen, and when he knows what's expected of him.

As he grew comfortable with the other kids, the adults, and the teenage assistants, his behavior not only improved, he was one of most cooperative kids there. He loved the theatre games so much that he sat focused and participated beautifully. He even became one of the boys. I remember the first time I watched the boys walk over to his table and sit with him. I think I had to cover my wet face with my hair.

When he finally got to rehearse his scenes on stage, he was over the moon. It was clear how much he enjoyed it -- not just peforming, but watching. While the other kids grew restless watching scenes they weren't in, he sat spellbound.

Theo now knows theatre lingo -- scene, rehearse, props, and director, just to name a few, are words he didn't know before.

To say we're proud of him doesn't seem to convey what Joe and I experienced. All the parents were proud of their kids. But when your kid overcomes as much as Theo did to stand on stage, say a few lines and do a few dances with a big smile -- no, pride doesn't even begin to cover it.

Sunday night, we laid in bed talking about Theo's face on stage when he said his lines, finally nailing them. He was beaming. We remembered the quintessential "Hi, mom" wave he gave when he spotted us in the audience. We talked about all the people who came -- so many friends, family members, and even two of his teachers. All the people who love him and are rooting for him. And we cried, because our son inspires us. We hope this story can inspire others.

Annie, Week Three

When I picked him up at rehearsal, he was calm. This gave me the courage to approach the director and ask how it went. I told her how he's loving the experience, and she said, "Oh yes, the kids are loving..."

I expected her to say "it, too."

Instead, she said, "working with him."

I nearly fell over after what happened last week.

Relief! Happiness! Joy!

Guess there will be good days and not-so-good days. I can live with that.

Annie, Week Two

Well, if I came off my last rehearsal pick-up on a high, today was the opposite. Last Tuesday when I peeked in, he was on his feet, part of an activity and fitting right in. Today, when I peered around the corner into the room, I saw all the kids in chairs learning a song, and Theo sitting there punching his head with his fist repeatedly.

This is a fairly new stim that has developed in the past few months, one that obviously Joe and I hate. I still don't know what triggers it--stress, nerves, anxiety, etc... Sometimes it looks like he's doing it out of sheer happiness. I guess I should be grateful that until now we've avoided the common autism stim of banging your head on the wall or floor, or other forms of self-injury. Theo's not injuring himself--not even close. He's just being silly.

I was happy, though, to see one of the teenage production assistants sitting next to him and working with him. Remember how I hoped someone would take a liking to him? I hope I'm not speaking too soon, but it seems like she has. It's her I spoke with after rehearsal and not the director. I'm too nervous to ask the director if he's being disruptive, because I'm afraid of getting an answer I don't want. And then I'm in the position where I have to decide if I do what's best for Theo (having him stick it out) or the rest of the kids (getting to enjoy their rehearsals without interruption).

The nice girl told me he was jittery and kept getting up, but that she sat with him and he sang. And that at snacktime he socialized with other kids. She seemed pretty positive about it.

So though I'm bummed, we all know there are good days and bad days with autism. Hopefully next week will go better. I realize he still has to get used to this. And he really, really loves it.

And I have to work on my own attitude. I keep hoping for things that will take time, if they happen at all. I shouldn't have expected him to tell me which girl is playing Annie so soon. I shouldn't have hoped for him to have an instant theatre buddy who would stick to his side during rehearsal. It's not fair to him for me to be anything but realistic, but it's also not fair to him if I underestimate him, so how do I know how to push him the right amount?