10 Milestones Not In The Parenting Books

When you’re anticipating the birth of your children, you dream of the first tooth and the first step. There are pages in baby books where you can document these milestones with dates and photos.

Theo is 12 today. Here are the milestones I never thought about, but for us, have been remarkable events. The first time he:

1. Said dad instead of daddy. Then later, mom instead of mommy
2. Crossed the street himself
3. Rode his bike to the park on his own
4. Sent me a text
5. Sprouted hair above his lip
6. Used his own keys to walk through the door
7. Looked in a mirror and cared about what he saw
8. Met my gaze at eye level…for he was exactly my height
9. Found a lower octave sneaking into his speech
10. Was embarrassed by his mom in public

Tweenaged is so interesting. He’s still a kid in many ways. Yes, he was bored on our recent farm trip, but he still says “Oh, yay!” when we’re doing something he’s excited about.

Jekyll and Hyde: The Tween Years

Sometimes he’s the kid we recognize, the sweetie pie he’s always been reputed to be. Others, he’s moody in a way that's new. Once in a while he’ll slam a door, which is more amusing than maddening since it’s so unlike him. He’s always smiled at our annoying jokes, but lately he’s exasperated when we joke with him too much or ask too many questions. Recently he even grunted when I touched his hair!

He sucks at talking on the phone but is great about texting – very responsible, probably because he’s still excited to have a phone, even if it is a hand-me-down with no working sound. 

Suddenly he wears the same jeans every day because he likes them. 

His vocabulary has been reduced to "good" as the answer to most questions.

And have I mentioned how he’s grown like whoa? Yesterday, he and I shared shoes. Today, he and Joe switch their 10-and-a-halves. Two months ago I blogged that he would be my height soon, and now he is.

Pride is something I see Theo experiencing more often these days. He's proud to have more independence -- a phone, his own set of keys. He actually cared about the praise from his teachers at the end of the year. He was proud to get a compliment about being the best at sound in film camp, and proud to be a junior counselor at another camp (he came home smiling every day that week). He learned to sign his name in cursive, since they didn't teach it in school. He has an email address. Little things like that are increasingly giving him confidence. And so far he hasn't tired of everyone commenting on how tall he is!

He is still ultra cautious when crossing the street – overly so, but I'm not in a hurry for that to change. Recently, he walked off the subway to go to school…while I stayed on it. I didn't expect it to be such a strange feeling... he had been alone in our neighborhood plenty, but here he was, released to LIC? The panic was starting to set in when 4-5 minutes later I got the text that he'd reached school. Silly mommy.

Some things are constant  – his devotion to his little sister. His ability to play Minecraft and Wii U all day is equal to his ability to go with the flow (when I tell him it's time to stop, he always says "ok.") Despite his impending teendom, he is good-natured with relatively little attitude. 

And even when he's 50, I bet he'll still make me massage his shoulders while we watch TV.

Birthday Sympathy

I'm in love with Theo right now...yesterday was Joe's birthday, but he was sick and in bed most of the day. Theo cried when he learned daddy was sick in his birthday. Not a tantrum...just quiet tears. The concept of being sick on one's birthday was just so sad to him.

Also, in the morning, Theo had made a list of things to do that day:
Cake
Fun
Play different kinds of games
Fun
Presents
Fun

He was determined to adhere to that list. So we lit the candles on a cake that poor Joe couldn't eat, invented games that took minimal effort for Mr. Sick, and since I didn't have the kind of presents you open (I made a camera out of meatloaf), Theo drew a watch, a shirt,and movies, and presented those.

Theo asked for paper to make a card, too--that was a first. Usually I have to ask him to make someone a card.

I adore how much both kids love birthdays, even when it's not theirs! Melody's rendition of Happy Birthday, the only song she will sing, had daddy temporarily healed.

Ice, Ice, My Baby

When Theo's friend Logan invited him to his birthday party, I tried to think of other birthday parties Theo had been invited to. I could probably count them on one hand. Theo went from 0 to 2 friends last year. Both of the friends he found, Logan and Reina (who will get a blog post of her own) seemed to need him, too. No kid ever needed Theo before. So here he was, invited to a party--not because a kid was inviting everyone in his class or a cousin was obligated to include him--Logan genuinely liked Theo and wanted him at his party! And the best part--it was an ice skating party.

Do you recall our first and only attempt at ice skating last year? We had incredible fun, but Theo was unable to hold his own on the ice. I was curious to see how he'd do--a year later, his vocabulary and verbal comprehension were stronger--skills that seemed like they would matter to skating. One thing NOT better was Theo's balance. And so we would see. But I knew either way, we'd have a great time.

When we walked in, Logan's enthusiastic "Hi, Theo!" was music to my ears. His mom, Jenn, was good enough to pay for the kids to all have a 30 min coaching session. The kids learned how to fall properly, and then they hit the ice. I liked this rink because it provided helmets, something that Theo really needed! I'm pretty sure he took a couple of headers.

I automatically went into apologetic mode with the coaches when Theo did not get it right away. In fact, he was downright uncooperative at first and wouldn't stop giggling as he fell over and over. But pretty soon he was moving little distances on his own and two of the coaches were actually impressed! Coaches who teach beginners every day, impressed with Theo's progress on the ice? I felt great, and Theo felt great.


As the day went on, his confidence grew. A couple of times he went from one wall to the other entirely on his own! As many times as he fell, he never stopped smiling. I think both of us could have skated all day! Unfortunately, the rink closed early for hockey.


He never really skated skated--more like skillfully walked across the ice. But that's what kids are taught to do at first--hold their knees and march. We're going back this weekend and I plan to keep taking him, because I had as much fun as he did! I love skating! (But oops, one of the coaches corrected ME, telling me to bend my knees.) I really think he'll get it if we keep at it, and this will be wonderful therapy for his balance issues.

As far as the party went, thankfully gluten wasn't an issue. Theo gleefully chowed down on pizza and birthday cake, and loved singing to Logan. He didn't socialize with the other kids much, but he was clearly happy to be part of the festivities.