School Photos

Theo's school picture

Theo puts on his belt in the morning to get ready for picture day

Daddy helps his little man with his sports jacket



Theo would rather be wearing his blue sweatshirt.

This is a photo I took of the class picture, hence the terrible quality. Everyone in Theo's class looks miserable. As you can see, they took off Theo's jacket; I am really mad! I killed myself running around Manhattan to find one, and he looked so good in it!

How it Went at the Clinic

Sorry I didn't post sooner, I realize some of you checked the blog frequently to get results from Thursday's visit to the clinic in Staten Island. I didn't mean to worry anyone.

The waiting room was sad; a few autistic adults were waiting, and they were pretty far gone. One woman kept letting out random bellows for no reason. I was grateful, needless to say, that Theo is nothing like this and is so highly functional.

We met with three female doctors at a table. They had a gigantic booklet of questions for us to answer. The women were extremely perceptive and by the end of the evaluation seemed to really "get" Theo.

He got an IQ test at school (I didn't even know about this, how nice of his school to inform me) and they estimated his IQ at around 94, which is about average. One of the doctors said "I don't think your son is autistic. He's somewhere between PDD and...whatever. We can label him as a giraffe, it doesn't matter, what matters is getting him the services he needs."

So we talked at length about schools and updating his Individual Education Plan, and they told us about a school in Long Island. We are visiting the School for Language and Communication Development tomorrow. We are very fortunate; they give tours once a month, so we're just in time for the May one! I'll let you know what we think of the school.

This and That

• Yesterday was picture day at school. Theo looked ridiculously handsome and grown up! I can't wait to see the photos; I hope they come out at as great as they did last year. I also hope he looks good in the class pic. Last year he was the only kid with his head turned completely sideways with a weird expression. I was so mad; in the age of digital, I know they could have gotten a photo with all the kids looking at least decent. Anyway, Joe and I had so much fun in the morning getting his outfit steamed and his hair brushed and sprucing him up. He wasn't thrilled about wearing a sportsjacket, however. He wanted his blue sweatshirt.

• I got a letter from school saying Theo's teacher Grace was promoted to Educational Supervisor and Lavern was now the teacher, effective immediately. I'm happy for Grace, and she deserves it, but I think it's an odd time of year to change teachers. The school year is almost over! But luckily I love Lavern; she's been working in Theo's class for the two years he's been there as an assistant, so it's not like the kids have to adjust to a stranger. I spent some time with her at the zoo recently; Theo likes her, too. It shouldn't be a big deal.

• I'll be 34 weeks on Friday. I think 34 weeks is considered the point where the baby is no longer really a preemie if born early--so that's great! It's a huge relief to know that if I went into early labor it would probably be fine. Not that I think that will happen; it's just good to know.

• Tomorrow we have an appointment at the Jervis Clinic in Staten Island again. This time they're evaluating Theo to determine his level of autism. We consider him to be very low on the spectrum, so I'm a little worried about hearing otherwise. I'll keep you posted.

Yucky Chocolate Milk

Funny bit of cuteness for the day-

I love chocolate milk, especially during both pregnancies--but so does the whole fam, so when it's in the house I barely get to have any. Thus, I have taken to drinking Silk's soy chocolate milk, because I actually like it and Joe won't dare try it, and I get to have it all to myself. It's good for the baby for me to have it, anyway. When Theo saw it in the fridge I always told him it wasn't chocolate milk.

The other night, Theo surprised me when he said "I want yucky chocolate milk."

Oh no! Joe had blown my cover! He had gone grocery shopping with Theo earlier, and without thinking, when he put the Silk in the cart he told Theo it was mommy's yucky chocolate milk. So much for having it all to myself!

Happy Birthday Grandma Ice Cream, Maow and Bruce!

Bruce and Maow were spoiled for their second birthday and got more Spongebob toys...

And they got to have a can of tuna! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

What started out as a Madonna impersonation went terribly wrong. Theo climbed over the table to get his hat back from Uncle Elliot. He was very mad at him.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Coneheads. In case it's not obvious.

Theo made sure Knuffle Bunny got in on the action, and put a hat on him.

If I Should Fall Behind, Wait For Me

Those are Springsteen lyrics in the topic title. :) They refer to how long it's been since I last wrote. I was going strong on this blog for a while, wasn't I?? Then work got really busy and of course, my exhaustion level is through the roof. Not complaining, though. I am growing a person, after all.

I had another doc's appointment today. All is well, I'm measuring at 32 weeks (which I am--perfect!) and Melody's heartbeat sounded great. My weight gain is up to 17 lbs.

Melody's movements are getting really gigantic now. I can feel her flipping and punching and kicking and twisting, and body parts are constantly protruding from my belly! I try to identify them--that's the hard part. Was that a heel? A finger? A head? A foot? I never know, but it's fun to guess! She's supposed to engage within the next few weeks, which means she's supposed to turn so her head is downward, and stay that way.

Things are coming together! We built our crib, and it took two hours! We're terribly unhandy, and the instructions were awful--they may as well have been written in Japanese. Our crib bedding has arrived, and our bassinet is set up. It's wonderful to stare at the empty crib and picture our baby in there. The cats look adorable in the bassinet, but we'll have to start kicking them out. Theo already does; he's very protective of Melody. He tells the cats "get out of Melody's bed!"

I'm getting more and more convinced that Theo gets that there is a baby in my belly, and that the baby's name is Melody. So much so that I don't think he'll be surprised when he sees the baby for the first time. I think seeing her will make him connect all the dots and piece together all we've been talking about these past months--the baby in the belly, the crib, the this, the that. What I don't think he gets is that this baby will actually materialize. I think in his mind, there is already a baby named Melody and that's that. I can't wait for them to meet and to see his face!

Hospital Tour

We toured the birthing center in our hospital yesterday. This is St. Vincent's hospital; I had Theo at Mt. Sinai, where I was born. It was fun getting to meet three other pregnant couples. I was hoping to make a pregnant friend but they were all in their upper 30's, so as usual I was the outcast. I swear, no one in New York City has babies before 35. If I lived in the midwest I'd fit right in, but here I stick out like a sore thumb. Plus, I look even younger than I am, so people think I'm a teen mom. I mean, I know I'm at perfect childbearing age, especially physically, but it's annoying that the general NYC public doesn't know it.

Oh, on an unrelated note, this morning an older lady, maybe in her 60's, offered me her seat on the subway after no one else would. I refused it and told her not to worry about it, but I think I offended her. What's this world coming to when old ladies have to give up seats to pregnant ladies? Next, it'll be someone on crutches.

How did I end up rambling? This post was meant to be about the tour! I don't have much to report, it was standard hospital stuff, but it was still fun. When I saw the labor and delivery room, sense memory kicked in and I was immediately brought back to the "having Theo" scene. I could visualize my sweaty, ugly, squirming mess of a self on that bed--just by seeing it! I love sense memory, it fascinates me.

Grandma Ice Cream and Grandma Popcorn on Wheels

This is one of Uncle Jim's Christmas gifts to Theo. It was a gag gift, but Theo loves it. It's two grannies in wheelchairs, who race on a track! Grandma Popcorn (Joe's mom) is the one in red, and my mom, Grandma Ice Cream, is the one in purple.

There's Knuffle Bunny peeking out!

World Autism Day

Today is World Autism Today. Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey wrote an interesting article on Jenny's son Evan (I'm not sure if Carrey is the father or not, too lazy to look it up). They, like many people, attribute their son's autism to vaccines.

I'll never know if Theo got a vaccine that affected him negatively in any way. He could have, or he could not have; I have no clue. But I do know that at the time I didn't know to do research or question any vaccine. If the doctor wanted to give a vaccine, I went ahead and scheduled it. Great, I thought, the more the better.

Melody will have the benefit of my experience with Theo; now I know to learn about every vaccine thoroughly before she gets it. How awful for Theo to be a guinea pig, so to speak. Though to be honest, I really don't think vaccines had anything to do with his delays. But that's more of a gut instinct than anything.

By the way, interesting how some former porn stars are accepted into mainstream while most are condemned by society! Who knew Jenny McCarthy would one day be writing for CNN? You go, Jenny! I can't help it, I liked her on that MTV show Singled Out, way back in the day. :)

Theo's Five Friends

These are Theo's friends. He carries them from room to room, and you can bet your butt if one goes missing, there is hell until it's found.

They are:

Knuffle Bunny - You know all about him by now.
White Teddy Bear- A random Xmas present from a family friend from 2 years ago who was until recently just one of the stuffed animal collection.
Pirate-When Grandma Popcorn bought Max a toy at McDonald's I told her don't worry, Theo doesn't need one, too, he won't care. Theo immediately reached for Max's pirate and I said "Uh oh, get another one, get another one!"
Train- A souvenir Grandma Popcorn bought Theo at the Train Express Railyard we went to.
David-From the "Oh, David" series Theo cherishes.

This top photo displays the excellence of Joe's photography. Look at the perfect circle, from Theo's eyes to Knuffle Bunny's eyes and clockwise. The picture really makes you follow that direction- cool. The next two are mommy loves her cute smiling little boy photos.

Mooooooooooom, I Want My Own URL! I Want it I Want it I Want it!

Melody, my love, this is for you to read when you're older:

Stacy:
you know, kids grow up wired these days. a URL might not seem that important to us, but to the kids of tomorow, it's as central as the title of an article.

melody will grow up with an inferiority complex. "my mom never dedicated a whole blog to me like she did for theo. and even after she merely added me to HIS blog, she never even changed the URL. it's still howstheo."

the kids. they are wired and web-savvy. beware.

Elyse:
when she says that, I'll say: "But child, your brother is my first born and your father's male heir. It's only natural for him to get top billing and more love and affection than you. Be grateful you're alive, you wretch, in other countries they drown daughters."

Stacy:
that is brilliant. you should actually post my email and ur reply on the blog for posterity.if your daughter is as smart and witty and hip as i think she'll be, she'll appreciate this exchange.

Just Another Morning in the Orecchio Household

Bruce is in charge of "hunting" for breakfast (AKA waking me up), while Maow stands on the bookcase meowing at him and supervising. It's like they're prehistoric cavemen...er, cavecats? I should tell my little orange girl that it's 2008 and she's perfectly capable of hunting herself.

Bruce usually pokes and prods me at 7AM daily until I stir, but for some reason today he curled up in bed next to me and enjoyed a petting session. Well, this did NOT please his sister. She got on a nearby chair and started wailing at him, as if to say, "Bruuuuuuuuuuuce, stop fooling around, get her to feed us NOW!"

As for my third child...when I woke up this morning, I could hear pages turning. I looked over and saw Theo reading a book in bed. I wonder how long he'd been up reading. Isn't he the sweetest? He's such a good boy, we're so lucky.

Preparing for Baby

I’m in my third trimester now, so let the preparations begin! Grandma Popcorn and I shopped for Melody’s “coming home from hospital” outfit and got a couple other little things. We got a little sunhat and frilly, tiny socks…it’s hard to imagine feet small enough to go in them…the fun has begun!

Yesterday we prepared an area for Melody in our bedroom. Joe moved around all the furniture, and our room feels a lot bigger and more spacey now. I can’t wait to buy her crib and put it in her new spot! Both the cats and Theo were very interested when all the moving was going on. Maow was downright confused, sniffing everywhere and looking around with those silly wide eyes.

Theo was in the way, but he refused to leave the room because he was too into what was going on. He grabbed a broom and helped sweep while daddy worked. I told him that daddy was making room for his baby sister, and we were making a spot for the baby to sleep. He shook his head and said, “no.”

The biggest question I get from coworkers and acquaintances is, “How does Theo feel about becoming a big brother?” My answers vary; I usually don’t feel like getting into an explanation of Theo’s situation and how he doesn’t fully understand and blah blah blah. I wonder about it myself, though. I think he understands at least a little that there is a baby inside my tummy, but I don’t know if he can translate that into there actually being a baby whom he’ll meet pretty soon. And of course, the whole concept of having a sister is too abstract for him to comprehend, but he will sure love having a baby around when he meets her. We’re certain of that. He loves babies. I wonder what he’ll make of it when he comes to the hospital and sees a baby in my arms, especially when we tell him it’s this Melody person he’s been hearing about for so long. What connections will he make? What will go on in that gorgeous little head of his?

Mr. Perfect Boy

On St. Patrick's Day we decided Theo was the perfect kid that evening. We went out for an Irish dinner with friends (Billy and Jonathan) in a Sunnyside pub/restaurant. Theo brought his train that Grandma Popcorn bought him at the railyard, which has become his favorite toy du jour.

At the restaurant, Theo went to the bathroom twice, and repeatedly asked for vegetables, particularly carrots, corn and broccoli. He ate his entire dinner, and afterward even ate a tomato! Joe and I puffed out our chests; it's always fun to look good in front of friends. Of course, we rewarded the good boy with ice cream. Here's Melody, kicking off her third trimester--literally!Yes, yes, we wore green, cuz I'm corny like that. But hey, at school they made green eggs and ham, which he really enjoyed!!

At home, the perfection continued. He was agreeable about going to bed, though of course he dictated which books were to be read and in what order, then he dictated what songs to sing, and my favorite part--he dictated the goodnight kiss.

Easter Weekend

For us, Easter is over! We celebrated this weekend since Aunt Pia was in town. This Sunday we can blissfully do nothing. What do you mean this Sunday is the day Jesus was resurrected and I'm missing the point? I thought Easter was about bunnies and eggs.

We spent Saturday with Grandma Popcorn in Joisey. She took us and Max (the five-year-old cousin) to see the Easter Bunny on the Easter Bunny Express. It's a train ride in Jersey, and it's cool because it's an old-fashioned train and there's a whole railyard with stationary trains and tracks where the kids can run around. Theo obviously loved that!

Theo was thrilled Sunday morning to learn we were going to see Aunt Pia. And Nonny, Grandma Ice cream, Uncle Elliot, etc...

We feasted at Nonny's, and decorated Easter eggs. Theo was adorable hunting for eggs around Nonny's living room and bedroom. He really got into it. He did a great job, finding every single one!


As you can see, he equally enjoyed decorating...us. He went around "tagging" us all with the stickers Grandma brought for him.

Theo also enjoyed dunking his bread pudding in his milk after seeing mommy do it. He's such a little monkey!


Joe in what I *think* is his attempt to be the dignified Easter Bunny.

After we left, Aunt Gloria drove us by the laundromat featured in Knuffle Bunny. We wanted to see how Theo would react, but we were all pretty curious ourselves to see it. Theo was only mildly amused, but after a few minutes after we left, he smiled and said "the same." He really internalizes things!

Update on School Search

On Monday I met with with the Committee of Special Education (CSE) to discuss the program Theo needed for kindergarten and the evaluation they had conducted at school in January. Believe it or not, I was not privy to these results prior to Monday's meeting.

The social worker, Rhonda, a very nice woman, had conducted (among other tests) an autism test, and concluded that he was on the cusp of non-autistic and mildly-autistic, but overall felt that calling him autistic was too drastic for his IEP (Individual Education Plan, where the kid needs to be labeled in order to be placed.) So his label instead is: Speech and Communication impairment.

Joe and I couldn't help but laugh; just when we were accepting the autism label someone else reverses it. Just goes to show it doesn't matter what the label is; Theo is Theo. This whole thing can be so subjective!! He still has his upcoming "degree of autism" evaluation, and this one will be much more in depth.

So, anyway, the label was moot in the sense that we all agreed on what program Theo needed for Kindergarten. A 12:1:1 class, which means 12 kids, 1 teacher and 1 assistant. He'll be getting speech and occupational therapy twice a week, as he does now. He'll no longer be needing physical therapy. For the past two school years he had PT once a week and did things like tricycle riding and swinging and jumping and throwing/catching a ball. He hasn't exactly mastered any of these things but he's good enough to not need the PT. His low muscle tone is more relevant to the occupational therapy, where they work on his weak pencil/crayon grip and his cutting/gluing skills, writing, coloring, etc... we do a lot of work on this at home and he's definitely improving.

After the meeting I visited an elementary school in Woodside, P.S. 151. My two local schools don't offer special education, unfortunately, so he'll have to travel somewhere a bit further by bus. But hey, he's used to the schoolbus and loves it anyway. He'll still be in our neighborhood, probably, just not walking distance. At 151 the assistant principal greeted me. I had spoken to him on the phone and he remembered me. He's a nice guy; he escorted me to the classroom, where I met Mary, the teacher. She was setting up gold dust around the room while the kids were at lunch so they'd come back and think they were visited by the leprechaun. I went with her to go get the kids from the auditorium; we stopped by the kindergarten bathroom on the way back and all the kids went. I took a peek and most of the toilets were unflushed...Theo's already ahead of the game! He wouldn't dream of not flushing, it's his favorite part!

Back in the classroom, the kids were awestricken by the gold dust and searched everywhere for the leprechaun. Even at storytime they were still sneaking peeks under the rug--so cute!! To be honest, I tried hard to find something off about the kids but I couldn't. None of them seemed like kids you think of when you think special ed. They were all entirely normal. Mind you, autistic kids don't go in classes of 12, they go in classes of 6 or 8. These kids must have had minor delays or ADD or something...who knows. But it made me happy.

So, I like this school but will be checking out others. We have a while before a final decision needs to be made, and then of course we have to actually get him IN to the school we choose, which may or not be hard. We'll see.

Update on Operation: No More Diapers

I don't really need to call it Operation: No More Diapers anymore, because diapers are history and have been since the day we started. (Except for the overnight pullups.) Maybe I should change the name to Operation: No More Accidents or Operation: Completely Independently Toilet Trained. :)

Mom and I had a mini triumph on Saturday; we were in Target for a good hour and Theo was in the cart whining the whole time. He was driving me bonkers; I finally asked him if he had to go to the bathroom. (I'd have asked him sooner but he went just before going in to Target.) He answered whinily, "Yeeeeees." I took him to one of Target's oh-so-clean stalls and and he let 'er rip. I stood there with my jaw on the floor as I watched him pee for 8 hours. OK, maybe not, but it was a good 2 minutes at least. This kid amazes me. Anyway, the triumph I spoke of is that he held it! There he was, upset for a whole hour, and instead of peeing his pants, he held it!! This was an amazing accomplishment. I still don't get why he wouldn't just tell me he had to go, but one step at a time, right? Naturally, afterward he was in a perfectly chipper and cute mode. Now that we were finished shopping and it was time to go home. D'oh!

All is Well With the Gymnast

I had my monthly doc's appointment yesterday and all is well! Melody swam away from the little machine that detects the heartbeat, so for about ten seconds we couldn't find it, which felt like ten minutes.

Everything is on track; I measured 27 inches (from top of belly to bottom) and gained about 14 pounds. My belly button is 3/4 of the way popped. Doc put me on iron pills because of my slight, slight anemia; I took those with Theo, too.

I do not speak in hyperbole; Melody is moving all the time now. With Theo I said the typical boy stuff like he was playing soccer in there, and with Melody, I call her a gymnast. I'm sure she'd make a fine soccer player too, but apparently her specialty is somersaults and flips.

I read that at 28 weeks dad can hold a toilet paper roll to my belly and possibly hear her heartbeat. Joe wasn't able to make it to my doctor's appointment yesterday thanks to work, but I told him it was one of those quickie five minute ones and it wasn't worth him coming anyway. I told him we listened to the heartbeat and he said, "Yeah, but I can do that with toilet paper." Good to know he's paying attention! Sort of...

Tomorrow I'll be 27 weeks and in my final week of the second trimester. Finally! I'm not good with patience and I'm ready for June to come NOW.

Froggie Eye Candy

Theo's teacher Grace made my day this morning when she emailed me this photo from Tuesday, which was Pajama Day at school. She sent me this photo as a response to my question, which was "how did Theo react when Elmo came to school?" Now this is what I call an answer!

Aw, and look at Lizbeth to Theo's left, with her Dora slippers. You mean I really get to dress up a little girl like that soon?

Theo was funny that morning; he was utterly confused when I was making him change out of his pajamas into...pajamas. "No bed!" he complained. I explained that everyone was going to wear pajamas to school that day, even Grace, and that he could bring Knuffle Bunny. And then he was happy.

Pajama Day was a celebration of reading. They made pancakes and read bedtime books like Goodnight Moon. I was excited to learn that Elmo was visiting school. Theo LOVES Elmo, it's his favorite part of Sesame Street, and every night we sing "Elmo's World" but change the lyrics. Like, "La la la la, la la la la, Theo's world, Theo loves his mommy and daddy too, that's Theo's world." He gets very silly and creative. The other day he sang "Umbrella world, umbrella loves raining and snowing too." Haha!

This one has nothing to do with Pajama Day, but I had to throw it in. This was Sunday...we got home after an exhausting but fun weekend with Grandma Ice Cream and family and shopping at the mall. He took a bath and didn't even make it to a horizontal position before passing out. I think it's funny that with the blankets he's wrapped in under there, he actually takes the shape of a frog.

Impressive Stream and Other Things

So, this is Open School Week. Joe and I conferenced with Grace today and a couple of other people who work with Theo (his social worker, therapists) and everyone was able to agree on one thing: Boy, can that kid pee!

Seriously, Theo's stream is nonstop. I could probably sing the Star Spangled Banner and finish it before he finishes peeing. I was wondering if I was the only one who thought so until his babysitter, Sharon, mentioned it and now the teachers brought it up! So it's official! He wins the longest pee award. He's totally going to hate me for this one day. I'll have to delete this blog when he grows up!

Next Monday we have a meeting with the CSE, the school board who helps place Theo in the right kindergarten program. I've been calling schools and of course, the closest ones to my house don't have the services he'll need. Groan. It looks like we'll have to travel further but hopefully still stay in this district.

Grace expressed concern that Theo isn't a behavior problem, and that means he might get overlooked in his new school. She said some programs have a tendency to pay attention to the kids who cause disruptances with their behavior. Theo is happy to just sit there all day, but that's not good enough if we want him to really learn and love school. I'm glad to know to look out for that, so I can stay on top of it and make sure he's getting attention.

Theo's First Homework

We had a blast doing Theo's big homework packet with him! We took turns helping him with different pages, but he really did it mostly on his own. We only guided.




Grace held onto the pictures Theo drew from the vacation, so they're not included in this video. But he drew going to Alexander's 11th birthday party and he drew getting a haircut. When I took him for a haircut last week, he laughed so hard the whole time that it took two barbers to hold him steady. Which sounds cute, but I got dirty looks from old ladies who didn't get why I couldn't control my kid.

Addendum to Knuffle Bunny Post

Knuffle Bunny

Grandma Ice Cream bought Theo the book Knuffle Bunny, as well as the sequel, the DVD, and the actual stuffed bunny the book is about.

So now Theo is a little Knuffle Bunny freak. He's gotta read the book every night and watch the DVD almost every day (luckily, the latter hasn't replaced the former). The story is about a daddy and his little girl who brings her stuffed bunny with her to the laundromat, and leaves it there. She obviously has a heart attack as a result. Funny how now Theo's stuffed Knuffle Bunny is becoming as beloved to him as the little girl's is to her!

The drawings are set on a backdrop of photographs in Brooklyn. 2 nights ago I was laying in bed listening to Joe read Theo Knuffle Bunny, when Theo suddenly exclaimed, "Look! Going to Nonny's house!" Joe and I burst out laughing! This is the picture Theo was referring to:


Do we have a smart cookie or what? I know for sure it's Brooklyn, from research, and there's a very good chance that it is indeed Park Slope, where Nonny lives.

UPDATE: Aunt Pia confirmed it...it IS Park Slope! Thanks for sending me this story, auntie!

Week 4

It has been 3 weeks since Operation:No More Diapers began. You faithful readers deserve an update. You non-faithful readers can go to hell. :)

I'm thrilled to announce that when it comes to being at home with Mommy and Daddy, Theo is 100% toilet trained. Still speaking in daytime terms, of course. Nighttime will be a whole 'nother fish to fry, to be tackled later. Hehe, fish...tackled. I mixed metaphors and blended them nicely. I'm so proud of myself.

Anyway, as long as he's home and with one of us, he without fail pees and poops in the toilet without prompting. He always lets us know when he's about to go, then goes. And after he poops, one of us has to go look before he flushes. The other day I was collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and when Theo called me in to look, I asked Joe entirely seriously, "Babe, can you do the looking today?" After a minute we realized the full hilariousness of that question and cracked up. So now whoever is up and about does the looking. I like to look whenever I can, because the bigger the poop, the more thrilled I am that it's in the toilet and not crushed in a diaper with the remnants on his butt for me to clean.

Theo still needs to be prompted to go to the bathroom at school, at Sharon's (the sitter) and with friends and family. In other words, anyone but us. But at least he's fully cooperative with other people and so the accidents are very minimal. Not sure why he doesn't ask them...maybe he's shy? But then again, he doesn't ask us to go when we're outside, either. Only at home. So, this is just something that will keep progressing with time.

Here's Uncle Elliot's account of their visit from last week, when Gloria babysat for the day and Elliot joined them later.

"Theo was great. We were on the treadmill for a while, then I made him watch Jimmy Kimmel. I randomly put Animal Crossing in on Gamecube and the first thing you see is a train, so he said "choo choo train!" I do wanna kill Joe because he kept saying stuff like "two eyes, two noses" or whatever random crap and Gloria said that you told her that Joe showed him some weird funhouse mirror or something. But yeah first I made him pee, he went standing up. Then about 5 minutes later he started farting which amused him (and me) to no end. I then sat him down to poop. He dropped a huge log, then I asked him if he was done and he said no. He kept trying and trying and eventually said, "I can't, finished." He sure is a smelly boy, I am impressed. Another fun part was trying to figure out what terminology you use for everything. Do you say tushy like mom? Sigh. Not that I can think of a more suitable alternative. Another funny thing is that when you ask him body parts on his face, he generally points to them but when you ask about his tongue, he just sticks it out. He's really a good kid who is smarter than people give him credit for, he is just a bit quiet unless you engage him in conversation, but he definitely answers your questions as best he can. He is really a great kid and I look forward to hanging out with him again in greater length."



(In case you're wondering, no, I absolutely DO NOT say tushy. Sorry, mom.)

Back From the Neurologist

On Tuesday, a car from the Jervis Clinic picked us up and brought us to Staten Island for Theo's neurological examination. The purpose of this exam was to update his "label," which is necessary for kindergarten and the government and obviously doesn't change Theo one bit.

This doctor was the nicest neurologist we've been to yet. He's the only one who didn't rush. He spent a good few hours with Theo and got to know him and us. In fact, everyone at the clinic is super friendly and efficient; this is a great place.

The doctor always asked if we agreed with what he said and wanted our opinions. He very much involved us in the process of evaluating Theo. Theo did great with things like identifying letters and numbers and answering questions like "what color is grass"? He couldn't answer questions like "Can you name some animals?" Interesting, since he knows the name of many animals. He just didn't understand the question. The doctor quickly caught on that Theo is a visual learner and has difficulty with abstract concepts.

The doc went over the criteria for autism and Theo met almost all of them. He classified him with PDD (so basically, no change from his last classification) and wants Theo to come back for a specific autism evaluation that determines his level of autism - mild, moderate, severe, etc.

He left us on a very encouraging note when he saw Theo plunking out "do re mi" on a little piano and singing. He also saw how Theo makes eye contact and is personable. He stressed bringing Theo back to earth when he gets into his own little world, and socializing him as much as possible. When Theo gets into a routine, break it. He thinks Theo has a great chance at functioning well and it's possible he can have an independent adult life. Obviously it's too early for promises. He also said he was encouraged by me and Joe and the work we're doing and the care we're giving him. That was nice of him since I was in tears and pretty emotional. Even though the day didn't really bring any surprises and everything that happened, I expected, it's still puts a mommy (and daddy) through the wringer.

But I'm glad we went. In a way, the autism label is a relief. The doc could tell that Theo is smart. Theo is smart and autistic as opposed to just being normal and dumb :)

I've never been more proud of my boy!

Future Mr. Right

Theo is silly and restless in this video, hope you get a kick out of it.

Cute Mode

Theo is always cute, I know, but sometimes he's really in full force cute mode. Last night he was at the height of cuteness.

1. I had made the sick boy chicken soup a la Nonny over the weekend. He refused all veggies and ate only the chicken and the broth. Little Theo used to eat anything in the world if it was in a soup, but now it's like he grew up and discovered veggies are healthy or something. Anyway, since he was sick and the broth was the important part, I gave him a straw to suck out the broth and leave the veggies. So yesterday I gave him some leftover soup and he immediately said "I want a straw!" Oh boy, what have I started?

2. A few weeks ago we all did "cheers" with our cups at dinner. Last night Theo randomly remembered this and held up his cup and said "cheers!" Boy, if only you'd seen the smile on his face!!

3. Whenever someone burps or farts, we blame someone else. For instance, if I burp I say "Theo, stop burping!" and then he says "Daddy, stop burping!" and Joe says "Bruce, stop burping!" Then we all laugh. A tear jerker of a family tradition, eh? So last night Theo decided he was going to learn how to burp. Frustrated, he said "I can't!" But he kept trying to produce burp-like sounds that really just sounded like someone going "eh." It was hysterical!

You should see Theo attempt to wink and whistle!

The Watering Hole

Week two of Mission: No more diapers.
It's kind of ironic how the success has been in the department I least expected: the pooping. Theo hasn't had one poop accident. He has told me when he's had to go, and then gone, every night (and he proudly shows me before he flushes!). I'm amazed and proud and surprised! After all, this is where he had trouble before. He's known how to pee in the toilet for well over a year.

But knowing how to and doing it are apparently different. He is still having wet accidents when left to his own devices. He's great about being instructed to pee, but the idea is to get him to recognize the urge to go and then go in the toilet. That part is going slower, but I'm still confident it will happen. Like I said, failure is not an option, which really helps. School has returned all pull-ups. He is GOING to be toilet trained. NOW.

Kitty Morning Ritual

Every morning Joe drinks his coffee on the couch, then sets the cup on the windowsill. And every morning, the cats bookend the cup and look out the window.

They remind us of an old married couple sitting together with their coffee, relaxing. But the reality is, they're drooling for the pigeons they hear out there!

The Next Two Days

Wednesday: 1 wet accident with sitter, none at school, none at home; pooped in toilet

Thursday: 2 wet accidents with sitter, none at school, none at home; pooped in toilet

Evaluation: I am still very encouraged. And not having changed a poopy diaper for a week has been the best week of my life! Yes, yes, I know I have quite a few of them coming up, but they'll be from a significantly smaller tushy! :)

This is going much better than I thought it would the first week.

Poor guy is home sick with daddy today, I can't wait to get home to him. He's so sweet and cuddly and helpless when he's sick. I feel so bad for him! I don't know what he has, he's just feverish and achy it seems. Hopefully it will pass by tomorrow.

Update on School

Yesterday, Theo's school held a meeting about the transition to k....the transition to kin...I can't say it. Kkkkkkkk. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiii. Kindergarten! There, I said it.

In my years of watching Joe photograph 5 year olds at various events and shoots, I have heard this conversation many times:
"How old are you?"
"5"
"Oh, so what grade are you in?"
"Kindergarten."
(Joe gasps) "You go to school in a garden??"
At this point kid reacts one of two ways:
1. (laughs) "Nooooooooooooooooooo!"
2. (doesn't get it)"No.."

And now here we are, almost at that time with our own big boy. I know this is the universal emotional time for parents, and I'm not saying anything new.

So, back to the meeting. It was a big meeting for all the parents, not a personal one, so Joe attended the meeting for both of us since I couldn't miss work for both that and the ultrasound.
And he took really cute, thorough notes, complete with doodles. :)

The good news is, we're on track with everything we're supposed to be doing. Theo was evaluated in January, and we have a big meeting with various people in March, where he'll be "classified" (ugh) and we'll choose which model is the most appropropriate for him. It will definitely be special ed, but there are different models: 12 kids, 8, or 6 in a class, for instance. Then Joe and I visit schools and observe the models, and we pick something we all agree on and register.

Feb. 19 we have an appointment with a fancy neurologist at a fancy clinic in Staten Island (they actually provide a car for this!).

So lots of nervewracking but necessary stuff going on. And Theo keeps a smile plastered on his face through it all!

About Both Kids

THEO is 4 1/2 today! Yaaaaay! We sang happy half birthday to him as soon we woke him up, and he put on his groggy "that's great now let me sleep" face.

MELODY is perfect, as evidenced in part two of my ultrasound today!

So Far, So Good

Update on Operation: No More Diapers

Monday: Grace began using a timer every 30-40 minutes to take Theo to the bathroom. He had no accidents at school, he had just one with Marta, and then none at home! At home I used the microwave as a timer, since I haven't bought a little egg timer yet. Theo knows when he hears the "beep beep" that it means to pee, but he didn't want to go every time. I think it's fine for him to say no to going, as long as it means he's thinking about whether he has to go. Monday night he pooped in the toilet, but that's because I smelled a fart and told him to!

Tuesday: Whooohoooooooo! NO accidents yesterday! Not in school, not with Marta, and not at home. And at home, he asked to poop on the toilet, and then did! I love my boy for the pleasure he gets out of things like grabbing toilet paper and wiping. Do any of you smile when you do that?? Last night we decided to increase the interval of the timer a bit, to an hour.

Evaluation: He still isn't asking/telling me he has to pee in the toilet, but I am confident that after a week or so of him going as often as has been, he'll just be so used to it it'll become second nature and he won't think to pee in his underwear. I think this is going really well so far!

Operation: No More Diapers

Operation: No More Diapers has begun.

While Theo has known how to use the toilet for over a year, the fact is he was still in pull-ups because of his refusal to have an exclusive relationship with porcelain.

I always knew the only way to nip the problem in the bud was to ban diaper use not just at home, but at school too. And I couldn't bring myself to ask Grace and staff to have to deal with the messes involved in toilet training. Luckily, during my last talk with Grace, I brought up the issue and she offered. I spoke with Marta, Theo's sitter, too. So now we're all on board, and it's official -- underwear only from now on.

This weekend had many ups and downs. We have about 5 or 6 wet underwears as a result, because no matter how many times I reminded Theo to go in the toilet, and no matter how many times he actually went, he still managed to wet himself in between. How much pee does this kid actually have? I'm reminded of when he was a little baby. I'd take him to the doctor, and he'd pee on the nurse a good 3 or 4 times while she was weighing and measuring him, then he'd pee a couple more times on the doctor. I remember them commenting that they'd never seen anything like it!

As for the ups...Theo stayed dry on both of the outings we went on over the weekend, the first of which involved a bus ride and a bottle of water. I took him to the bathroom at Starbucks, and after he used the toilet, it was mommy's turn. I took one of those paper toilet covers, set it down, and sat on the toilet. He produced his best and funniest sentence yet:

"No mommy, don't put butt on the napkin!"

Another major triumph...for the first time, he told me he had to poop in the toilet--and then did! In the past, he's only gone when we've sensed that he had to and sent him to the bathroom. This was the first time he felt the urge on acted on it. When he can do that with the urge to pee, we'll be golden! Er, bad choice of words there, sorry.

This is exciting. Difficult as the process is, failure is not an option. After all, Theo is "old," he'll be starting a new school soon, and there's a baby coming. A baby whose diapers he'll be changing. ;)

Superbowl Fun

Theo helped me peel potatoes for our mashed potato football field. He continues to be my favorite sous chef!

It's meatballs vs. shrimp in the Orecchio superbowl. Bruce tries to intercept the shrimp in this exciting play.

Ultrasound Photos-20 weeks

Here she is opening her mouth. The tech said she was eating!
She looks like Theo when he was a baby.

That's the most perfect, adorable, tiny tushy! Hopefully 2 weeks from now I'll have photos of her facing the other way.

My Beautiful Melody Jade

I can't stop watching the first 60 seconds of this clip and sobbing. I've been singing "you're my beautiful Melody" (at 00.50 seconds on this video) since I found out we were having a daughter today. Or should I say yesterday...it's 4AM. I can't sleep! I'm too giddy!

Anyway, please watch the first minute.


Back in November I bought this mermaid costume. I knew it was silly but I couldn't help it!

It's not that I'm naming Melody after a mermaid, exactly, but I did fall in love with the name when seeing this movie years ago.

Joe and I are already planning Halloween. Theo would make a great crab, we agreed.

The sonogram was blissfully long...well over an hour. We saw Melody kiss her hand, and open and close her mouth several times--apparently she was eating! How fascinating! She has a perfect brain, spine, hands, feet...everything. And we swear her face looks just like her brother's.

I don't know whether to call her stubborn or calm. Try as we might, we could not flip her to see everything the ultrasound tech needed for his full evaluation, but hey, this means we get to go back in 2 weeks and see her again! She was squished between my back and placenta or something, and she looked cozy as anything. Her legs were up like she was lounging, and she simply had no interest in moving over for us. My silly girl!

The magical part about having a second child is the simultaneous newness and familiarity. Daddy's tears streaming down his face when we learn the sex...calling the grandmas who are waiting by the phone...the excitement of the growing belly...the celebrating and the fear...it's Theo all over again, but 4 years later, and therefore nice and fresh.

You have to hear Theo say Melody's name...I'll record it and post it soon. It's currently my favorite sound in the universe.

Artist at Work

Uncle Elliot and Aunt Gloria got Theo these magic fingerpaints for Christmas, where the color only shows up on this magic paper. Is that mom friendly or what? Incidentally, he's also wearing the pajamas they got him.

Theo was good about using one color at at time 'til he said screw it and mixed all the colors together, making some weird purple. This is exactly the way it goes with play-doh, too.

Why We Have Children

Ah, to be needed.

At 6:52 AM I heard a little groggy voice: "Moooommmy. Come."

Well, even a tired mommy can't resist a request like that! I went over and his arms reached out. All I did was sit next to him with my arms around him and he fell right back asleep (for 8 minutes...then the alarm went off). He needed nothing except to feel me next to him.

When the alarm went off, I went to stir my husband, who instructed me to lay with him for ten minutes before we move. "You too?" I giggled.

It was one of those moments in life where one feels utterly fulfilled and happy, because the people she loves love her and need her.

I really get why a single woman whose biological clock is ticking would go ahead and have a baby through artificial means or adopt. I'm about to break into "peooooooooople who need peooooooooople are the luckiest peeeeeeeeeeeople" in about two seconds! Good thing there's no sound on this thing...I don't do the best Streisand impression.

Belly Shot Numero Uno

Here's my first official belly shot, at 19 1/2 weeks. The clothes came off during the shoot and we got some pretty silhouettes, which I'll show upon request. :) They're artsy, after all! The idea is to do this every couple of weeks, or as much as possible.

Over the weekend, Joe and I watched the video of Theo's big sex-determining sonogram. We told Theo it was him on screen, but he resumed playing with cars, uninterested. The doctor told us that Theo had an erection. Theo certainly made his manhood very obvious that day! We were so proud--sniff sniff.

This Friday is the next big sonogram for this baby. I'm going crazy with anticipation. Wondering about the sex, and of course wondering if there will be 10 fingers and toes and hoping all is well. I can't think about anything else. I haven't slept well in a few days and don't imagine I will before Friday.

Random Stuff

Last night, Theo told Bruce to get dressed. I told him Bruce was already wearing an orange coat. Theo thought about this for a second, then told Bruce, "No! Coat off, sweater off! Get dressed!"

Also, it's become a nighttime routine for Theo to order me to lie in my bed after I put him to bed. The more tired he is, the more seriously he takes it. As in, if I disobey and go into the living room, he'll cry. So now I'm pretty much stuck with having to lie down in my bed every night after leaving him. Being the tired preggo that I am, sometimes I fall asleep and still have my contacts in and am fully clothed, but usually he's asleep after just a few minutes and I can sneak back into the living room.

Theo sure isn't boring, that's for certain.

Theo, Life of the Partay

I have friends of different varieties. I have the kind who don't care too much for kids, but like Theo well enough because he's mine. I have the kind who like kids and like to be around Theo in small doses. Then I have the kind who love kids and are practically friends with me because of Theo!

These photos are from Saturday night at Marcail's apartment. Marcail and Katie fall into the latter group of friends, and Saturday was spoil Theo night. Marcail happened to have two other friends over, both guys, and even THEY were wild about kids and spoiled Theo!

Demetrius adorns Theo with Marcail's apron, carefully concealing the Yankees' emblem.

Theo is focused on prepared Gluten-free brownies for Katie.

Marcail, Demo and Theo baking together!

Theo enjoying mommy's biggest craving, cheese doodles--my kind of kid. Actually, he's also kind of my kid.

Katie and Theo spooned on Marcail's bed but drifted apart after falling asleep. Theo started out under the covers, but as usual, kicked them off. He's been doing that since he was a newborn kicking out of his swaddle.

Adam drove me and Theo home around midnight, and groggy Theo sweetly clung to me in the elevator. Anyway, it's very rare that I bring Theo when I'm with friends, so I'm grateful to have this group of friends who have loved him since he was a baby. Although they were probably more into watching his Thomas the Tank DVD than they should have been.

Interactive Yoga

I was doing my prenatal yoga video last night. I can't say I was able to relax, since it was more like an aerobic routine with the monkey around. He was really cute doing stretches next to me, but then he got hyper and decided he was going to sit on me any time I was on my hands and knees, or crawl under me when my legs were apart, creating the perfect tunnel.

The best part, though: I was in downward dog (that's where you make an upside down V with your body) when Maow strolled up, parked herself beneath me, and started stretching.

Two Sweet Moments

1.This morning I sat down on Theo's bed and gently pet him awake. His eyes opened, blinking and groggy, and settled on me. He immediately held out his arms and pulled me in for a hug.

The rest of the morning went downhill from there (today he decided "No schoolbus. I want stay.") But I keep the mental picture of his long, skinny arms in Mets-covered sleeves and choose to ignore the tantrum that stemmed from my attempt to help him put his socks on since we were running late.

2. On Sunday morning Joe let his preggo wife sleep in. When I woke up, I lay in bed a while playing my Nintendo DS, with Bruce's front paws on my face as he lay next to me, purring.

I love all my kids.

Ode to Da Daddy

Theo has no school today because of a conference, so he gets to have a day with daddy. I just called to say hello to my boys, and they were at the playground and then going for chicken nuggets.

Joe has always changed as many diapers as I have. He packs lunch, gets Theo dressed, takes him to the schoolbus. He takes him to the toilet and makes a big celebration when Theo is successful. He is always first to jump up at Theo's request for cereal or a drink.

When Theo was a baby you could always find him strapped to Joe on the baby carrier.

He is simply the best. He's the new generation of DAD and a superdad at that. I'm incredibly lucky to have him, and I don't know how so many moms do it all alone.

Now that I'm pregnant --yes, it's my first time announcing it on this blog, I'm pregnant!!!!--Joe is eager to come to all my appointments just to hear the heartbeat. There are so many worries that go along with bringing a baby into the world, and it feels good that I can at least rest assured that this baby will have the planet's best dad.

And don't even get me started on what a great cat daddy he is...

Mommy, What Happened?

Yesterday, on Little Christmas, Joe took down the tree and put it outside while Theo was at school. So when Theo came home and saw the big empty space where the tree was, he produced a great sentence! He held out his hands and said, "Mommy, what happened Christmas tree? Christmas tree gone. Not here."

Poor thing was pretty disappointed and perplexed! He loved that tree! He even went into the kitchen to look for it.

His reaction to tossed trees laying on the street is always "Oh no!"

Oh well, 'til next year...