Monday, September 18, 2006

Huge Sucsax

At the mall, there's a jazz-themed playground with a drumset for a tunnel, a piano as a bridge, and a saxophone for a slide. Everything is made of a rubbery sort of material; it's really neat and quite safe.

We hadn't been there in a while. The last time few times there, Theo tried to climb up the saxaphone. But it's not like a ladder, where there are rungs, so it' s a matter of using your strength and getting a good grip to hoist yourself up there, so you can slide down. Theo was too little to do this in the past (it's quite tricky). But I loved him for not giving up. He always tried on his own before coming to me for help.

On Saturday, when we got to the playground I had to pin Theo down to get his shoes off before he could get to his saxophone slide. I rejoined Lisandra at our table, just outside the playground, in the food court. We watched Theo's little blonde head pop up every few minutes as he attempted his ambitious climb. I realized I should have taken Theo's socks off to give him more friction. Aunt Lisa sweetly volunteered to do it. But by the time she got to him to take his socks off, she couldn't find him! That's because he was already inside the saxophone, sliding down.

No more saxophone blues for this cool cat. Now he's playing a different tune.


anastasia said...

O-M-G. it's like a bad case of mixed metaphors. "huge sucsax"? "no more saxophone blues for this cool cat. now he's playing a different tune"?

don't you know what george orwell has to say about mixing metaphors?

"By using stale metaphors, similes, and idioms, you save much mental effort, at the cost of leaving your meaning vague, not only for your reader but for yourself. This is the significance of mixed metaphors. The sole aim of a metaphor is to call up a visual image. When these images clash -- as in The Fascist octopus has sung its swan song, the jackboot is thrown into the melting pot -- it can be taken as certain that the writer is not seeing a mental image of the objects he is naming; in other words he is not really thinking."

you suck.

just kidding. this totally cracked me up. see, this kid is gonna be a musician. mark my words. have i not said so a million times already? on this very blog? he's gonna be super slick, wear the sweetest jeans, flip his hair over his eye, croon like timberlake, and get all the ladies.

Elyse said...

Well, Ms. Smarty Pants, first of all huge sucsax is a pun. so THERE. Harumph

As for the rest of it, I think I was overtly obnoxious with my jazz metaphors, and so that makes it okay. Because it means I'm not taking myself too seriously and trying to produce poetic crap that'll make you swoon at my brilliance, even though I have no idea what I'm talking about. Which is Georgie's problem with mixed metaphors.

So you suck, jerk.

And I'm kidding, cuz you totally cracked me up too, and Joe is absolutely going to love the quote you threw in.

Hey, did you know I re-read 1984 when I was pregnant? Is that relevant?

anastasia said...

This is the ultimate. My former workplace, dear old Weekly Standard, found this egregious stylistic error within the pages of their ideological nemesis, The Nation, and published the stinker in castigation:

"While it's hard to judge now whether this movement will have legs, the fact that the book hit the New York Times bestseller list in March and continues selling like hot cakes suggests that its message is striking a chord with lots of Americans.
-Amy Alexander on Tavis Smiley's The Covenant with Black America"

God almighty it's bad.

Elyse said...

Hell, that IS the ultimate. I bet that writer's mom thought she was so creative. Georgie O. would have had a FIELD DAY with that one.